Kristin tweets at @kristincraiglai and blogs at ShutUpLucille.com She is also a feminist life coach practising in Toronto.
I have a hard time saying that I’m disabled. I feel like that’s a term I’m not allowed to use, like I’m not disabled enough to use the term without being told off for co-opting a marginalized identity. I imagine that many people living with mental illness have similar internal struggles. But if you were to ask me how my mental illnesses (C-PTSD, social anxiety and depression) restrict my ability to function in the world I would tell you that I have to think carefully about the probability of being triggered before I go anywhere unfamiliar. I would tell you that I often have to suss out where I will run and hide if I get triggered or overwhelmed. I would explain that I have to bring a collection of items out with me in the hopes that they could help ground me in the event of an “episode”. I would also tell you that I am constantly assessing new acquaintances for how safe I think they are. If I have a breakdown will they get impatient or irritated with me? Will they be compassionate? Will they condescend to me and treat me like an injured kitten? Will they try to solve all my problems by offering insultingly obvious advice? Or will they just ignore it because my mental illness makes them uncomfortable? It’s not always easy to tell and I’ve been surprised more than once by a “friend’s” lack of compassion. As for work, how many work places are truly willing to accommodate an employee who sometimes has to call in triggered? How many employers would even hire someone if they knew that they had a history of mental illness? And who’s going to give me the flexibility I need to be able to attend appointments necessary for my treatment? Continue reading On being the crazy feminist in the room →